My favourite reframe
About a year ago I did a positive parenting course – being a single mum to a powerful tween I felt there were areas I could strengthen in my parenting game before things got too hairy. It turned out to be a wonderful course and as far as takeaways go, I got plenty.
Like with resurrecting health, parenting is a slow and steady process. You adapt, things improve, you plateau and need to make further adjustments. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out – whammo – puberty! That might be where the analogy ends, but I do want to share with you something that really helps in parenting and health.
It’s a reframe.
I believe that getting health back on track is part physiological and part emotional/mental. Of course, there are mechanical and physiological elements to any health concern, but not without the mind. The mind is, in fact, almighty and can instantly transport you into a sympathetic dominant state, hindering progress and wellness. We know that for sure.
What do we do about it? How do we reframe when we feel so terrible, when our health leaves us feeling exhausted, frustrated, alienated or confused? Gratitude is great, meditation/mindfulness can be so wonderful and affirmations are certainly helpful, but they can be difficult and for many unattainable. They may be too foreign and difficult to bring into practice. So here is the parenting reframe that helps me every day when I’m not operating at my best…
It is this simple:
“I get to…”
In the context of parenting it changed “I have to pick my daughter up and take her to gymnastics” to “I get to pick my daughter up and take her to gymnastics”.
Can you feel the difference?
How does this look from a health perspective? Well, it changes “I have to go to bed early” to “I GET to go to bed early” (yippee). “I have to take these supplements” becomes “I get to take these supplements” (yippee). It’s EMPOWERING.
If you’re reading this and you find yourself wanting to challenge or push back, I invite you to just sit with it, play with it and explore it. How can reframing a simple construct alter your whole experience? Quite simply because your beliefs are simply thoughts you keep thinking and if what you’re thinking has a positive lens, then the whole experience, by necessity, needs to change.
If you begin to experience these healthy investments (sleep, movement, hydration, supplements, quiet time, avoiding or including foods) as an opportunity, a privilege or a gift, then you are more likely going to see better outcomes.
Why not try it on for size. See if ‘I GET to…’ can in any way empower you.